"Get amongst it" - Warren my new life coach
The other day I was surfing (I know I sound really cool, hey) (but trust me, I have managed to take the coolness out of surfing) (I believe ... dumping would be closer to the sport that I have newly taken up) (regardless) the other day I was dumping and it was early, around 7am. Seems like every bloody man and his board had the same idea on this sunny, crisp morning (my ocean). I don't like getting in the boys way or taking their waves for that matter.
It's too much pressure to, a. make eye contact with the boys, b. get on the wave, c. stand up on the wave and d. not knock somebody out when I get dumped and my board goes flying up in the air, while I'm still laughing under water at how silly I am (silly Eddie).
- So I decided to sit, probably about - 5 metres to the right of the cluster (okay - larger than a cluster, probably a whole packet of bloody Carmens muesli).
- Turns out, this brought more attention to Eddie in her matching yellow swimsuit with her matching yellow board (hehe).
- But this way I was able to paddle for the waves, nobody in my way, get on the wave first and shred it out #what ("Kingston Park Raceway, it's a hell of a day outttttt" kind of voice).
-No waves were happening.
-Turns out - they all clutter/muesli because, the waves actually have a sweet spot
-The things you learn!
-Particularly from being an observer/ dumper that didn't manage to make it into the cereal box during production
Warren my soon to be surfing mate yells out, "oi darl - ya not gonna get nothing sitting out there lookin pretty!" ---- I go the colour of beetroot (I mean, literally the colour of beetroot - not that I could see my face, but I could feel the heat pack under my hair) and now, I have full cluster/muesli attention.
He's onto me and now everybody on the bloody Gold Coast is onto me as well.
I wanted to paddle far out to sea. But my hands took over my brain (which was probably burnt by now from all the blushing) and I decided to shamely paddle closer to Warren and the gang.
In the museli box.
Warren is a 58 year old 'bloke' who screams BCF and a 4XXXX (or 5) on a Tuesday. He's got that roast chicken skin, and gladly took me under his wing. I love you Warren.
Warren: "What are ya dooooooiiin luv" - (statement not a question)
Eddie: "Is it that obvious hahahahah" (pitty laughing myself)
Warren: "Ya just gotta get amonnnngst it ayyyy!" - Quick - go for that one - quick, quick, quick--- paddle, paddle, paddle!!!!!!!!! (everyone is watching - Including the bloody surf club on shore, probably the sea gulls too).
So of course- I paddle, tongue out, noise affects like Serena Williams playing tennis noise effects -
Probably one of the best dumps I've ever had. Got barrelled. Totally crushed #gnarly
So for the next hour, Warren trained me. With every #pep talk ending in - 'Ya just gotta get amongst it'. Meet the boys, "boys this is Eddie", Me: "Hi" (since when did I become shy).
Whilst I was being Michelle Bridges surfing beep tested by Warren mate, I was waiting for the polite time to paddle back into shore and crawl into my hole. But, I decided to go with it, 'get amongst it' and continue to go on with my dumping workout--- but this time, in a very public way.
It made me think of, you know for example: public speaking. You actually look like more of an idiot if you get up there, twiddle your thumbs and nervously laugh --- like in an annoying Paris Hilton kind of way. Same kind of idea.
So Warren goes in before me (a little bit of relief flushes across my forehead). "But, I'll pass you onto Lincoln,"Oi Lincoln" (Lincoln is a boogie-boarder - flippers and all and can read my face very well - he laughs "So, you met Warren" (Lincoln's not too interested in yellow Eddie and gives me a break - thankyou Lincoln for cutting the small talk and having a nice smile - I love you Lincoln.
I wait another 20 minutes or so because, I was obviously getting amongst it by this time.
As I'm walking back up the beach, hit the road surface, pick my wedgie, what do I know? Warrens drinking a coffee with the boys watching my solo 20 with bloody binoculars and a skateboard. (I appreciate how invested Warren is, in this potential Steph Gilmore and I feel like everyone needs a Warren in their life.). I have stopped using Layne Beachley as my surfing reference because apparently that's dorky and ancient. I am also praying in my head --- at this time that he's not going to make me get on his skateboard and "get amongst it" - because, that would be pushin it Warren.
"Ya know where out here every morning ay, so just get amongst it --- ya know the crew now, Lincolns a lovely bloke ay".
Because of Warren, I have made the executive decision in life, right now, that whatever I do, I am going to just get amongst it! Want to go toad hunting? Yeah!!!! let's get amongst ittttttt!!!!! Wanna peel potatoes? - yeah!!! get amongst it!!!! and I suggest you do the same.