I want you to close your eyes, put some cucumbers on them - if you must ... and think about your HAPPY PLACE? Okay... so your eyes are obviously not closed!!!
Relax and let your mind wonder off ... to a PLACE where you feel most yourself. A PLACE where YOU are YOU!
- Most natural
- & Happiest self
Where do you feel like you can take control of any worries ... maybe they don't even exist? Your anxiety finally feels like it's having a nap and you aren't consistently checking the time - your phone - your emails. --- Gracious, you may even forget what day it is for a minute! Everything you need is right in front of you and if it isn't --- you are still okay with that? (...I do hope that you read that all in a therapeutic, psychiatrist voice).
I regard this feeling as what it is to truly be PRESENT. I also regard the notion of being truly present as a major key hole into unlocking and controlling our OWN personal happiness. You often hear people say, "I want to become more present" or "just live in the moment, man". But --- it's hard to practice something that is a state being if we don't recognise the triggers that counteract this key hole. It's all #la-di-dah having a boyfriend in Paris --- but what happens when reality hits and Gabriel can't handle the pressure!!!
First things first, write down your HAPPY PLACE (or just install it in your noggin).
Mine is the beach, but don't feel judged if yours is the local pub.
When I become moody, obsessive and emotional and I don't have my period to blame (...scram!), not only do I start freaking out majorly... I realise that I come to the same conclusion, every-single- time (the eye roll emoji would be perfect --- right about now).
1. I haven't had enough time to myself (princess).
2. I haven't been in the sun, salt water /ocean, grass, sand (nature).
3. I haven't been exercising or doing yoga (feeling sluggish and dusty).
4. I haven't been doing my morning routine (monumental moment of my day).
So, when this chaos and whirlwind of emotions come along --- I take myself on a date and no you can't come.
The smartest thing to do, when you are in a 'funk' --- is get dressed, get out of the house, put some cherry, candy- hot girl lipstick on and take yourself on a date.
Sometimes, life runs off without us. We are left with a failed job interview, a breakup, a lost loved one, a disappointed outcome, a fight with mum or simply just waiting for an answer. We keep dwelling on the situation, getting tangled in its webs and still trapped in last Wednesday's emotions. I use my Ladybird dates as a way of getting clarity on situations, beginning again and keeping myself company through the ups and downs, rather than blaming, tormenting and abusing myself.
When we are surrounded by our happy place, it helps us gain clarity on decisions, a situation or thoughts that are seeping out of our pores. Sometimes when we are continuously going over something in our minds, we are having --- thoughts on top of thoughts --- on top of thoughts and we aren’t thinking rationally. Instead of protecting ourselves and being there for ourselves, we do quite the opposite. We want to have control, so instead we filter through all possible disaster outcomes and dwell, dwell - dwell our mind like a punching bag.
When we remove ourselves into a space of comfort, understanding, clear air, clear energy and clarity — we are able to let our intuition come through — a true place of knowing. We can safely transition from a place of thinking/ planning/ analysing and enter a a place of feeling/ understanding and being.
Rules for dating yourself:
1. HA! There are none! for the first time ever !!! You don't have to play stupid, silly, can't be bothered ---hard to get #blah-#blah-#blah games and you can say, scratch, do, be, touch, pick whatever you want! (which you should find somebody you can be exactly that with anyway...).
2. Lock it in Eddie! either mark it in the diary, decide the night before or maybe the morning of! But -schedule the whole day free! It is way to easier to 'cancel' when you don't have anybody to let down. BUT ... Mr Bond. you will be letting yourself down!!! :( and you deserve somebody that treats you better than that (#Hannah Montana) (#pout).
3. I'm all for track pants and crocs every now and then. BUT--- doll yourself up and make yourself feel comfortable and groovy. YOU'VE GOT A HOT DATE!
4. Make a plan but not a PLAN-PLAN (a brief overview) ... a draft! (story of my life) (ha.).
5. Have a happy playlist for the commuting part of your date --- Choose feel good music!
6. Make sure your car and space is clean (but - if it's a spontaneous date --- don't sweat it).
7. You don't need to wait until you are stressed, emotional or moody. I go on a date every Wednesday!!! You are more likely to avoid this 'emotion' by having a regular date day.
8. INCLUDE YOUR HAPPY PLACE !!!
1. Don't over think it.
2. Keep phone usage to a minimum.
3. Take a book, a journal or headphones (music/podcasts).
4. Include nature - even if it's just a 20 minute sit/ walk on the grass.
5. If you feel like it's company and social interaction that you NEED --- take a friend or one of those boyfriend/girlfriend things.
6. Just take somebody that you can dance, laugh, talk about nonsense and have fun with --- not sit around and talk about reality and Becky's butt all day.
Are you excited?
You should be!
Get to it, start planning your next date!
I hope you get a kiss at the door step ;)
With love - ALWAYS.