I think we can all relate to that lumpy ... pelican ... throbbing --- THROAT feeling -- when you are trying to hold back a projectile of tears, but you are standing in the middle of Chermside shopping centre, holding a new bathroom loofah, trying to order a GOD DAMN sushi roll!
"Eddie - do not cry too the friendly Japanese woman". She is just a casual.
You start to fluster, get a sexy, little lip- sweat and flutter you're hands like mamma during menopause (sorry "mom") --- ahhh numb//nuckles, you see Sarah Bethany from primary school --- and before you know it, the 'are you okay's' start happening -- the tortured question for throat lumpers.
You stretch your face down and pierce your lips over your teeth -- to try and numb those tears in.
'Yep' -- your voice breaks and it's now --- to the point of no return. TLC WATERFALLS are squirting out-- left right and centre while, "let the rivers run", starts playing on cue-- followed by a million, "I'm sorry's".
note: extremely --- suspicious about pretty cryers. (never trust a pretty cryer people!!!).
In Japan, hotels are equipped with crying rooms, for woman to de-stress and cry till their little lungs desire. Despite this being bloody- brilliant, a little unsure, completely sexist - (with the assumption and social connotation that men don't have emotions and feelings) --- it surfaces the universal stance that crying is weak and just like pooping it is something we all do in private - but never discuss.
Crying is healthy and natural. We came out of the womb crying -- and if you think you didn't -- well, ya did. Because, that is how babies receive their first dose of real life oxygen from the outside world. So we weren't born with this, 'crying is shameful and weak' attitude. Despite consistently apologising for each new tear --- the saying of "there is nothing better than a good ol cry" --- has more meaning than you know.
Why crying is good for you: aka. why - CRYING IS COOL
- Tears have toxins that need to be released -- hence why if you hold them in you wake up looking like a puffer fish. SO LET EM OUT!!!
- Reflex tears (tears formed from dust and smoke) are 98% water, whilst emotional tears contain stress hormones that have been accumulated and can only be released through crying. Otherwise they stay trapped!!!
- This is why: typically, after we cry, our breathing and heart-rate decrease --- because we have released the stress hormones that have been built up and we transition into a calmer biological and emotional state.
- This, "crying isn't going to fix the problem", yes is true - it's not going to fix the initial problem, BUT, it will fix how you deal with the problem/situation (mwa ha!).
- It is a physical and emotional release that helps you to move on, deal with the situation and begin a blank slate.
- Helps communicate the nature of our relationships --- sometimes you are surprised at the situations that you cry at or don't cry at (get's a little awkward sometimes doesn't it ? ...).
note for women: remember "sometimes" hormones can make us more emotional, so don't self diagnose yourself with depression if you start crying over spilling your coffee on your new white jeggings ... despite your period being due in the next day or two. (---just get rid of the jeggings).
- Releases oxytocin and endogenous opioids (endorphins) --- aka. feel- good / soothing chemicals.
- If you don't grieve properly - you may find yourself months down the track becoming an emotional drunk (has happened - not pretty - will probably happen again) or holding on to something you could have moved on from --- after 3 days of solid crying.
Don't be afraid to cry :) Just like pooping - we all do it and we all NEED to --- Don't get tear constipated!!!